The Heartbreaking Question That Sparked a Study
A mother once asked the first author of this study a question that would reshape research priorities: “Mommy, do you love your phone more than me?” Her young daughter had posed this during a moment of distress, and similar accounts began emerging in clinical practice with alarming frequency. Adolescents reported that parental attention to screens during bids for connection left them feeling devalued, dismissed, or unimportant .
This personal anecdote evolved into a comprehensive investigation involving 600 U.S. adolescents aged 12 to 17. The findings, published in Frontiers of Psychology on June 18, 2026, reveal a significant link between caregivers’ device-centric behaviors and insecure attachment patterns in teenagers .
Understanding Technoference and Phubbing
The study focuses on two related concepts that have only recently entered the research lexicon. “Technoference” describes technology interfering with interpersonal relationships, while “phubbing” combines “phone” and “snubbing” to capture the act of prioritizing a device over a human interaction .
These behaviors have been extensively studied in romantic relationships, but their impact on parent-child dynamics remains underexplored. Some researchers even describe parental phubbing as a “new form of social neglect during parent-child interactions” . Adolescents who perceive parents as phone-preoccupied report greater feelings of emotional neglect or insecurity.
The New Measure: Device Attachment Interference Scale
The research team developed and validated a new tool called the Device Attachment Interference Scale (DAIS) to measure adolescents’ perceptions of caregiver attentional availability. This 12-item self-report measure captures both behavioral observations and emotional responses .
Key Items from the Device Attachment Interference Scale (DAIS)
| What Teens Experience | How Often This Occurs |
|---|---|
| Caregiver’s device use negatively affects our relationship | Rated 0-4 scale |
| Caregiver does not spend enough time with me because of device use | Rated 0-4 scale |
| Caregiver ignores me when on a device | Rated 0-4 scale |
| Caregiver seems inattentive at important events due to device use | Rated 0-4 scale |
| Feeling unimportant when caregiver won’t put down their device | Rated 0-4 scale |
| Conflicts with caregiver about their device use | Rated 0-4 scale |
Higher scores indicate greater perceived device interference.
What the Numbers Reveal
The study’s sample was diverse, with 75.5% identifying as White, 13.8% Black/African American, and 17.7% Hispanic or Latino. Participants reported on primary caregivers, with 450 identifying a mother-like figure, 125 a father-like figure, and 25 “other” parental figures .
Regression analyses controlled for age and gender, revealing consistent patterns. Higher DAIS scores correlated significantly with insecure attachment—both anxious and avoidant—for both mother and father figures .
Association Between Caregiver Device Use and Adolescent Attachment Insecurity
| Attachment Style | Mother Figures (b) | Father Figures (b) |
|---|---|---|
| Avoidant Attachment | 0.630 | 0.434 |
| Anxious Attachment | 0.819 | 0.990 |
All results statistically significant at p < 0.001. Higher b values indicate stronger association between device use and attachment insecurity.
This finding builds on an earlier study that found such associations only for mother figures, likely due to insufficient sample size for fathers. The current research establishes that this phenomenon transcends gender and family structure .
Why Attachment Matters
Attachment theory, pioneered by psychiatrist John Bowlby, posits that children develop relationship expectations based on caregivers’ responsiveness. Consistent, sensitive attention fosters secure attachment—children learn they are important and their needs will be met. Greater attachment security correlates with wellbeing, interpersonal competence, and life satisfaction .
Conversely, insecure attachment carries significant risks. It is linked to depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, emotional regulation difficulties, low self-esteem, aggression, risky behaviors, and social isolation. Adolescents with insecure attachment may struggle with trust and building healthy relationships throughout life .
The Perception Gap
One striking finding concerns the mismatch between parental perception and adolescent experience. Research cited in the study reveals that in 2020, 68% of parents acknowledged being at least “sometimes” distracted by phones when with their children. A 2024 Pew survey found that 46% of teenagers reported a parent being distracted by their phone during conversations .
This perception gap is particularly relevant because attachment security depends on the child’s subjective experience. As one researcher noted, “I’ve had parents who thought they were the greatest parents in the world saying, ‘I was at every ballet rehearsal, I was at every softball practice, what are you talking about?’ And the kids will say, ‘Yeah, you were there, but you weren’t. Every time I looked up, you were looking down at your device'” .
Different from Traditional Risk Factors
Device-related distraction differs from other attachment risk factors in one crucial aspect: control. Traditional risks like inconsistent parenting, mental health struggles, neglect, or abuse are often difficult to address immediately. In contrast, device-centric behaviors are entirely subject to the caregiver’s volitional control .
“The quality of attention matters as much as the amount of time spent together,” notes a clinical psychologist commenting on the research. “Strong parent-child relationships are not built only on time spent together, but on how present and attentive parents are during those moments” .
Important Limitations
The researchers caution against concluding that parental device use causes insecure attachment. The findings are correlational and cross-sectional, meaning directionality remains unclear. Adolescents with existing insecure attachment might be more sensitive to perceived parental unavailability, or other unmeasured factors could contribute to both outcomes .
Additionally, the DAIS and attachment measures rely on self-report at a single time point, which may introduce shared method variance. Future research should employ longitudinal designs, multi-informant approaches, and video recordings to better understand the dynamics at play .
Practical Implications for Families
Despite these limitations, the findings offer actionable insights for families. Device-free meals, uninterrupted conversations, and dedicated one-on-one time can help adolescents feel heard and valued. Small gestures matter—putting phones away during family discussions or resisting the urge to check notifications when a teenager shares something important sends a message of attentiveness and care .
“Occasional phone use is unlikely to be harmful. The concern arises when device-related distraction becomes a consistent pattern that interferes with meaningful parent-child interactions” .
A Call for Awareness
This research contributes to the growing literature on how digital distractions influence relationships across interpersonal contexts . It also shifts attention from children’s screen time to parents’ own digital habits .
The study’s provocative title—”Mommy, do you love your phone more than me?”—captures an uncomfortable reality. Children often measure care not simply by what parents say, but by where their attention is directed. In an age where digital technology increasingly mediates human interaction, attentional availability has become a valuable and sometimes scarce resource .
Conclusion
While societies continue grappling with technology’s effects on wellbeing, this research serves as a powerful reminder. Screen time is not solely a youth issue. Adults must consider how their own digital habits shape the relationships that matter most. The challenge facing modern families is not abandoning technology but ensuring that the devices designed to connect us do not inadvertently weaken the connections closest to home .
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